An Anniversary of Hope

Liturgical Materials for Sunday the 12^th of January, 2003

Mark Belletini, Minister, Minister
First Unitarian Universalist Church of Columbus, Ohio

Opening words [Next] [back to top]

We are here
(after a week of winter contrasts
when balmy, sunny hours
pierced the gray slate sky,)
to worship, to wrestle with the sacred
and sing for our lives,
and keep a silence that heals.

And at the end of our service (together)

May our reason and our passion keep us true to ourselves,
true to each other
and true to those shared visions of what we can together become…

Sequence [Next] [back to top]

"Love will guide us," I sing.
But what do you look like, O Love?
Are you tender arms, sweet words?
Are flowers your best portrait,
pastel poetry your glowing body?

Have you no fractured bones,
no scars, no muscles strong enough
to unbind the knots that hold me back?

Have you no regret, no sorrow woven into your beauty and ecstasy?

I can only believe that you do, and that the torch by which you lead me and guide me through the world smokes, and sometimes flutters and sparks.

Love, you are more than passion, more than sentiment shining in my heart…you are tough words and the wrestling with angels along the rocky shore. You hold my hand as you tug and lead, your palm is sure and strong, and your own fingers are calloused and hard, even though they are scented of the flowers you often bear.

Love, you lead me, and guide me through the ramshackle worldly difficulties of these present days.

You encourage me to push for the ever-emerging truth, however frayed, instead of settling for comfortable and shiny slogans and idolatrous absolutes. Before your constancy, I can only be a silent witness, in quiet gratitude for such a strong and comforting presence.

(silence)

Love, I see you, as in a mirror, in the faces of my companions in this life, the loved ones and soul-partners who move by my side and with whom I join hands to make your difference in the world. I miss many of them who have gone before me, I struggle with some, I worry about others, and I give thanks for many more. I bless them by saying their names aloud, or by letting their names reflect in my silent heart, like beautiful winter light.

(naming)

As memory is part of our lives, and as hope is part of our lives, so is winter. It makes its presence known in snow and cold, in silver light and sharp stars. So now, by music, we stop by winter woods and give thanks for memory, for hope, and for this goodly season.

First Reading [Next] [back to top] is part of the actual text of the Roe vs Wade decision of 1973 from the pen of Justice Blackmun.

We forthwith acknowledge our awareness of the sensitive and emotional nature of the abortion controversy, of the vigorous opposing views, even among physicians, and of the deep and seemingly absolute convictions that the subject inspires. One's philosophy, one's experiences, one's exposure to the raw edges of human existence, one's religious training, one's attitudes toward life and family and their values, and the moral standards one establishes and seeks to observe, are all likely to influence and to color one's thinking and conclusions about abortion.

The right of privacy, whether it be founded in the fourteenth Amendment's concept of personal liberty and restrictions upon state action, as we feel it is, or, as the District Court determined, in the Ninth Amendment's reservation of rights to the people, is broad enough to encompass a woman's decision whether or not to terminate her pregnancy.

Second Reading [Next] [back to top] comes from an essay written by Patricia Justine Tumang in a 2002 book by youngwomen of color called Colonize This. The title of her essay is in Tagalog, one of the languages of the Philippines, and it means, "Where are you my daughter?"

I hadn't learned as a child to love myself. Rather, I had been taught to be a good Filipina girl and do as I was told… I also had to take some time away from my mother, to retreat from her anger and hurt to process my own. The first few months after the abortion we didn't speak that often. Eventually I entered therapy… Talking about my abortion with another woman of color was a relief. I found support and a safe space to open up.

My mother eventually broke down. She called in tears and apologized for not supporting me… I knew in my heart that…I must… forgive her. She too was wounded and realized that she would not have known what to do in my situation. I felt closer to her at that point.

Healing has never been an easy process for me. Something always interrupts it-new relationships, disagreements with family or friends, old issues, work and school. Denial coats the pain and prevents actual healing. When I become scared of my emotions and feel buried, I remember to love myself and know that I am not alone. I struggle with my inner demons constantly. Although I am only in the beginning stages of my healing process, I feel that I have now entered a place of peace… Although my decision was difficult, I made the best choice for my circumstance.

Sermon: Anniversary of Hope [Next][back to top]

Well, here I am, a male human being with no capacity to get pregnant, talking about Roe vs. Wade.

It may not make immediate sense to some that I stand up here speaking, for that reason alone. Yet during the week, as I have been talking with folks, and reading books and papers almost without end, I have found that I have been remembering how often this difficult topic of abortion has crossed the path of my male life.

When I did my internship in Rockford, Illinois, I stayed with a large family with six kids. (Why they wanted another mouth to feed is beyond me, but I loved my time there.) The father in the family was a physician who, in his practice, performed abortions. He knew that I was for the right of individual women to decide in such matters, but he also cannily knew that I felt this way, not so much because I had thought a lot about it, but because I put myself in the category of "a progressive" and felt I should think that way. So, realist that he was, he took me to his office one day, and with the express permission of two women, allowed me to follow two whole such procedures from beginning to end, from counseling sessions of the women by social workers, to post-op recovery. "Even though the decision of Roe vs. Wade is in effect," he said to me, "you will encounter questions about this topic throughout your ministry. As a physician involved with this procedure, I think it is important that you have some idea as to what it is about medically and how social workers counsel women who come in to this office. It will not help for you to be ignorant about this at any level." He was right, of course, and throughout my ministry I have engaged with women one on one who wish to talk about their experiences in depth. It was a profoundly intense and deep learning experience that affected me for a long time, and gave some ethical density to my so-called "progressive" convictions.

About eight years ago, the senior minister of our Dallas Church, my good friend and colleague Laurel Hallman, went on a long, well-earned sabbatical. Amazingly, she asked five ministers in our movement to each get a month long leave of absence from their congregations and come to Dallas to preach in her stead for that time. I thought it was an idea that wouldn't work, frankly. But to my amazement it worked beautifully, and my own congregation went for it easily. I enjoyed my time in Dallas immensely and have preached there many times since.

While I was there, I kept on hearing little snippets about Roe vs. Wade in conversations. The frequency of it seemed odd to me. Eventually, I got the whole story by asking questions. It turns out that, back in the early 1970's, the women's organization in the church, called by the now-dated name Women's Alliance, decided to spend a whole year studying the difficult issue of abortion, historically, religiously, medically, legally and even sociologically. They wanted to interview women who, in those pre-Roe vs. Wade days, had struggled to end their pregnancies in back alleys, or tried to abort themselves. They heard many stories, also, about physicians who had been reprimanded, placed on probation, or lost their license for doing such things.

A lawyer, who had recently graduated from law school, Sarah Weddington, was one of the folks they consulted. One day, Counselor Weddington brought Norma McCorvey to the church, so she could tell her story to the women. Eventually, the stories which this women's group heard so moved them that they helped to established an interfaith group in Dallas to try and reform Texas law. They worked with the Temple Sisterhood at a local synagogue and with a few other more liberal Christians. At the time, they sought only to liberalize the then Texas law. Ellen Kalima Lewis, who had been part of the Women's Alliance, became president of this reform organization. (Her picture is on the cover of your Order of Celebration.) It reminds me, like our children's story reminded me this morning, that a few committed people, or even one authentic personal voice, has a very real power. I find hope in that.

Things moved swiftly. Working with the testimonies of Ms. McCorvey, who was an apartment building manager at the time, as her "Jane Roe," Counselor Weddington, even though she was so fresh in her field, worked brilliantly through a series of courtrooms, filing briefs and gathering testimonies. Eventually to the surprise of many, the Supreme Court of the United States agreed to hear the case against the Texas law, which penalized most, or all, abortion procedures for women.

Their decision, Roe vs. Wade, came out in January of 1973, 30 years ago. Justice Blackmun acknowledged his "awareness of the sensitive and emotional nature of the abortion controversy, of the vigorous opposing views, even among physicians, and of the deep and seemingly absolute convictions that the subject inspires."

He also recognized that there were many different theological opinions about this issue, differences which the court was in no position to vote on or settle. The majority vote of the Court settled finally on the right to privacy in the matter of decision.

"The right of privacy," he wrote elegantly, "whether it be founded in the Fourteenth Amendment's concept of personal liberty and restrictions upon state action, as we feel it is, is broad enough to encompass a woman's decision whether or not to terminate her pregnancy."

Many folks today are simply unaware of how important the clergy was in this area, even though in those days, almost all of us were male. Woman after woman came to their ministers, rabbis, and yes, even priests, and often found that their horror stories of rape, incest and failed birth control were met with compassion. There are other "horror stories" to the contrary, to be sure, but those are the ones who are greedy for the press bytes, not the compassionate ones. The ministers of this particular congregation were no exception in those days. One of them helped one women in need in this church to end her pregnancy by offering her a sympathetic address in Mexico. Another minister helped a woman, who came to him find a place to go in Denmark.

But flying to other countries is the provenance of those who can afford it, and not many can. Many women had no such options in those days. And so the very real, and almost never addressed, class realities interface with this particular issue deeply. As does the color line.

Now look, I personally do not know of anyone who is celebrating the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade this week, who is in favor of abortion. That's right, you heard me. No one that I know thinks that abortion should be done just to do it, or on a whim. There is always a real person's story involved that is either difficult or filled with fear or uncertainty. And even so, many women decide not to terminate their pregnancy, not for religious reasons, but for personal ones. I can certainly understand that. And frankly, abortion has always been controversial, even in ancient times, and will always be, I suppose. Even the popes didn't always agree as to their own theological concept of "ensoulment," that is, the time when the soul animates the fetal flesh into humanhood. And many folks are unaware that, although the scriptures of the west are against many things, they make no statement against abortion, per se. Yet, from very early on, Christian teachers preached against the concept. But they preached against it often for very different reasons than folks do now. Even many of the great 19th century feminists, like Unitarian Susan B. Anthony and her friend, the fierce biblical critic, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, were against abortion. But they were against it because they wanted men to stop abandoning pregnant women, and they thought this was a good way to do it.

Thus, this history of abortion is undeniably complex and startling all around, with plenty of surprises. Jane Roe, for example, of Roe vs. Wade, Norma McCorvey, is now an evangelical Christian who speaks to Congress against the law her story helped to create.

And although studies have shown that the great majority of women, internationally, feel relieved after they choose to end their pregnancy and do so, this hardly means that miscarriages (which end almost 43 percent of all pregnancies) do not deeply grieve women who undergo them. And it does not mean that even women who terminate their pregnancies are free from feelings of sadness and grief and even regret, as our second reading makes clear. Young Patricia stands by her decision, but understands that it was a difficult one that affected her family and her own sense of loss. She speaks sadly to the spirit of her imagined daughter in Tagalog, her language of heritage, Nasaan ka anak ko? Where are you my daughter? But throughout her essay, the spirit of her daughter, in her terms, comforts her, and she stands by her decision.

No, the whole issue of Roe vs. Wade is not about being for abortion, but being for the capacity of a human being to make a difficult, decision in the middle of often difficult or even impossible, circumstances. It is about safeguarding the heart and minds of women to make such a decision for themselves. It is thus a legal decision that, for me, is filled with hope.

A recent president of the United State once said, "I notice that everyone that is for abortion has already been born."

But as I said, no one is for abortion. Folks are only for human beings being able to be humane, in the terrible tangle of it all. Let me make this clear by telling you a true story, written by a member of this church, Joe Davy, another person, like me, who will never personally have to make this decision for himself.

"There once was a woman named Barbara, growing up in a small rural Ohio community. She had two brothers and two sisters. She and her siblings lived with their parents in a modest 6-room house. They weren't destitute but they were poor as their mother did not work and their father was a laborer of cement and plaster. It was a simple life and, since it was the 1950's, a very different life than we know today. It was a time when controversial issues just simply weren't discussed, least of all sex. Barbara received no real sex education in school and the topic was strictly forbidden at home.

When Barbara was 17, she went to work at the local pharmacy just like her brother and sister before her. After a couple years there, she met a young man who was stationed at the local Air Force base. They began to date and Barbara fell in love. The relationship did not last long, however, as the boy met someone else who he married a year later. But Barbara found herself alone and pregnant. You see, the "Pill" would not come along for several years, so birth control had not been an option for Barbara. And even though abortions were available, they were illegal and very dangerous as thousands of women were permanently injured or killed from botched abortions.

So Barbara had to tell her conservative parents about the pregnancy. Together they decided to keep the baby but it was a very tough decision on the family.

Barbara is the reason I work for Planned Parenthood today. It is for women like her that did not have options over 30 years ago that I feel a need to help. Reproductive rights are being limited by the Ohio legislature every day and access to abortion is not a reality in most of Ohio's counties. Anti-choice forces have used misinformation and terrorism to limit women's access to safe legal abortions. And, in fact, they are now going after the "Pill" saying that it too causes an abortion.

You might wonder why Barbara's story is so important to me, a man. Well, Barbara is my mother and I saw what being a single parent did to her life. Don't get me wrong, we have a wonderful relationship, and I love her very much. And, obviously, I am thankful that she decided to have me. But I also saw the sacrifices she had to make for over 20 years of her life raising a son by herself because of one night's actions."

The irony of this true story is forceful to me. It reveals that courage can come in many forms…those women who decide to end their pregnancies, those who do not, and those who are unable to be mothers, and those who adopt, and those who don't. But it also confirms for me why this anniversary of Roe vs. Wade is an anniversary of hope. Not because there are not a thousand stumbling blocks set before women who face this decision. Not because the decision is easy, or ever has been. And certainly not because the law can't be etched away, inch by inch, by those who stand against it.

But I live in hope because the justices wrote a law that, although precise in language and rooted in good law, respects the spiritual complexity of the human condition, and all the pressures and pains and complexities we have to live with.

I have hope when human laws are written for human people. And though "I have miles to go before I sleep," every step of the way is more sublime when I live with my best hope and not my worst despair.

Offering [Next][back to top]

Mindful that our congregations have power in the world to make a difference, mindful of bills for winter heat, health insurance payments and cleaning supplies, mindful of all that it takes to empower a free faith to move forward in the world, we offer the opportunity of the offering so that individually and together we may create a world more humane.

Winter Prayer [back to top]

Black branches against red winter sunsets, comfort me.
Dangling snowflakes the size of domestic postage stamps, delight me.
Cold, brisk against my cheek, awaken me.
Hard ground, support me.

Love, let your soothing rhythm sound in the bells of the winter season ringing out the seasonal changes, and also in the bell that rings in my heart, the bell which keeps time with all the music of the spheres, music it did not begin and shall not complete.

Love, sound clear. Sound clear!

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Last update: 02/16/2003